I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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