i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
