You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
