One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
