Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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