idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
