Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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