Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
