Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
