my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pants are for mortals
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
