Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
