Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
