Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
not ubering you a puppy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
