My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
