good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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