I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
