I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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