apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
