i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
