There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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