I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
