Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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