I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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