I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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