Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize