Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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