Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize