She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize