I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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