And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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