The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
