she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
