The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's Friday. Sex?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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