i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
