Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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