did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
