I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
