In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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