I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize