we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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