Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
