Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize