Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
