My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
