I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
