We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
worst night to have a conscience
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
