Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
