Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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