I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Come on in and take your pants off
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