oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
