Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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