Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
