And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
