Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
