Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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