Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
