They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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