Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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