You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
