My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize