We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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