i would punch a child for taco bell
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
