also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
