all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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