You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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