you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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