At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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