if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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