I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize