Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
