just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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