It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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