I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
