so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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