I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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