What did we do last night that was yellow?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
