i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
