I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
