I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
