If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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